Why You Should Never Chase Love or Attention in Relationships

There are plenty of reasons why you should never chase love in relationships. When you chase love you cause rejection. You should never chase love in relationships because when you do, you are actually pushing it away. Chasing love puts you in position number two.

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Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty childhood subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness. She is also one of the most popular meditation teachers on Insight Timer and is the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. If you feel invisible, unworthy, and lack a sense of self or purpose, Lisa’s work in the field of personal development can help you gain the self-awareness required to breakthrough.


Thank you for watching Why You Should Never Chase Love or Attention in Relationships

#love #codependency #rejection #neverchaselove


25 thoughts on “Why You Should Never Chase Love or Attention in Relationships

  1. Lisa A. Romano, you're truly a Devine Spirit in the flesh. Thank you so much for the YouTube videos and their content. I, recently, challenged my Doctorates level therapist to detour her conventional approach to therapy to assist me with healing without suffering, but enlightening and transforming. I shared your videos and asked her to assist me in this form. She welcomed my suggestions. Thank you so much. In the past, I would never stand up for myself, but I'm focused on healing and transforming. 🙏🙏🙂🙂 I'm on my Journey to a healthier self.

  2. Great topic and video. Life is hard. We all need support sometimes. Narcissists abandon us, when we need support – right? Lisa, could you, would you please do a video about how much support is normal in healthy relationships and what would be a dysfuntional amount of support?

  3. Many people have said a lot of these things before, but for whatever reason – the way you say them makes it click. Never understood it before. Thank you for the examples and specifics. It feels more as if you have lived what you speak and your advice is relevant. Whereas other people seem like they are chanting a mantra they do not fully understand, which was hard to connect with in the past.

  4. Dear Lisa,
    I am in a parasocial relationship with Dr. Ramani and for awhile now, Keny Arkana, an artist in Marseille, France. These relationships are very one-sided and can lead to anxiety, because of the strong possibility that the star doesn't even know you exist. You are lovely and I can take ques from you, too, to practice more effective acts of sweetness. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings about it and just want to get over obstacles, be free, live in PEace, insPirE HoPE, progress, and evolution of lovely revolutionary change.
    I am not here to spread toxicity, and I also would not like being the kind of guy to make a lovely lady like Dr. Ramani feel mad, sad, or bad. I hope we'll all be glad keeping it rad.
    We need more love.. Thanks for the hearty content ☕ 🐝 zzz

  5. Just stopped by to say too many men think a woman wishing to have an intelligent conversation means we want them to marry us. Very bizarre. Okay, that's my two cents. I'll move along. 🙂

  6. I've watched a few of your videos lately… I very much admire the strength you've cultivated, especially given the place you came from… Your self-healing inspires me… Much love to everyone here.

  7. This video was really thought provoking. I've been on a path to self-discovery and spirituality for a very long time however the more I hear the more questions I seem to have. You said something really interesting: you can love yourself only to the extent you've felt love from the outside. So from that point can we even love ourselves if we haven't felt it? Or you're saying that now as adults we need to rise above all that and simply use our mind to understand our worth and love ourselves even if we aren't fully aware what love actually is / haven't felt it from anyone. I guess what I'm asking is, is the component of someone showing us love essential or by doing all the work and realising who we are we'll find self- love even if we never experienced love from outside? Also, in cases where one parent was warm and caring and the other was absent/ cold, does it automatically lead to codependancy? Or it is possible that one parent's love was enough to raise a healthy child without any mental trauma? I know it varies and depends on many factors but I was just curious in your experience what sort of patterns are most prevalent?

  8. Hi Lisa, could you make a video about how not to attach one's sense of self-worth with one's career/profession? I'm at crossroads about what career to choose for myself. Ten years ago, I lost a high paying job because of severe clinical depression caused by narcissistic abuse. I haven't been employed since then. I am always exhausted and cannot seem to figure out which profession would suit me best. Any tips? Do you believe that every person has a 'calling'?

  9. Sex stops the growth of learning process, PLUS there is oxytocin released with orgasm and men don't have this in high amounts enough so they don't feel that bond, but the woman will, whether she admits it or even knows it! It stops the learning and loving process. It's saying "I'm using your body for my pleasure" and no matter how you dress it up, it's at the end of the day, confusing the self. Women, say NO to men. You'll see them respect you more. And you respect yourself more. Love always, nurse who treats hundreds of people for STDs every day, along with broken hearts and dysfunctional families, largely because sex is "beer goggles"

  10. Im with a narcissistic sociopath (He's actually been diagnosed) I have no car.. he's made sure of that.. he ridicules me everyday.. especially in front of his adult kids who live with us.. He's told me to commit suicide twice and gave me reasons why I should.. I have a car in his name.. he checks the car GPS to check on me and he sees my text messages and evening somehow sees my Facebook messenger messages.. im not allowed to have family over (Heck I can't even talk to them in front of him or he'll make my life hell) He controls everything down what I wear and what I can eat.. I am also not allowed to have my bible out or even mention God around him.

    My father is very I'll and has nearly died a few times in the last two years and has just suffered his 6th heart attack and he says to me "The best thing that could happen is that your father dies, hes a drain on society and a burden to us" :'(

    And to make matters worse I just found out I a perimenopausal too.. Im so trapped and lost its not funny! :'(

  11. I’ve done this for years in relationships that were toxic. Just like you said Lisa. I was a giver and I was always dating takers. I had my sites set low and didn’t know it. This is the first year in my life that I’m completely focusing on myself!!
    Taking care of my body is first. I’ve drank for years and quit cold turkey last month. I’ve completely changed my lifestyle to a healthy lifestyle. I’ve lost 25 lbs in a month and I’m gonna keep going for my goal! I’ve never loved myself for being overweight and I used to be an athlete in high school. Years went by and I ate and let depression and anxiety rule my life. I chased love that wasn’t there. Now finally I am LOVING MYSELF. I have made so many goals just within a month. Loving myself and staying healthy and fit are all at the top of my list:)

  12. ooooooh PREACH. This is also the best way to see if the other person is insecure or narc/covert narc.. Covert narcs have to act fast before you find out what they are about.. If you don't need love, you'll see the other person spin out. I'd say chill, pop some popcorn, sit back, and watch the show – but a true lady does not eat popcorn and run. And run is what you should be doing!

  13. Being needy or chasing that love and seeing yourself as a clingy person is not something people want as a partner. Lisa said: " Normal people don't go around looking for a person to complete them or to take care of them, that's just a mess. Confidence is sexy! Goal is to hold on yourself. Remind yourself how important you are. The more you improve yourself the more you will be able to attract. I am enough AFFIRMATIONS Givers attract takers, don't be that person, don't attract the negative."
    Thank you Lisa A. Romano, you are so true, a lot makes sense.

  14. You have said it best, several times over – reciprocity! love is a two way street. And you're right about the dog – my lab got loose and he saw me four houses away from him and I called his name happily and asked him if he wanted a snack (*instead of chasing him) and he came barreling towards me. The next time he got out, he came around to the front door and started pawing to get back in, and I gave him a treat – so now he knows when he comes back he will get fed – if he doesn't come back – he doesn't get fed – I always thought if someone hurt a dog or was nasty to the dog, that the next time the dog left/got loose – he wouldn't come back because he would have bad memories – but he had good memories and kept returning :}

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