How to Become a Better Parent | Dr. Shefali on Impact Theory

Dr. Shefali has sparked a parenting revolution. Learn from the woman challenging everything we know about parenting in this transformational episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu.



“The beauty of life is that there is no line in stone, most of it is in sand.” [9:38]

“Life is this eternal dance between the knowing and the not knowing. Between the possessing and the complete non-possession. Between the doing and the non-doing.” [9:45]

“Pain is the greatest teacher.” [20:30]

“It’s narcissistic to think that we can raise another being when we haven’t raised ourselves.” [41:54]

“When you pursue anything that means you don’t have it already. So when you don’t have something already, you’re in lack. You cannot pursue abundance from lack. [47:17]



Tom and Dr. Shefali dive into the meaning of conscious parenting. [2:31]

Dr. Shefali explains how conditioning obscures child development. [5:14]

Dr. Shefali talks about understanding boundaries and the psychology behind parenting. [9:17]

Dr. Shefali describes how parents perpetuate children creating a false sense of self. [15:20]

Dr. Shefali talks about recovering our truest self and allowing our children to suffer. [17:00]

Dr. Shefali expands on living in the present moment and being deeply connected with your child. [21:31]

Tom and Dr. Shefali discuss learning to be present and how to accept and work with what you have. [24:17]

Dr. Shefali shares how she uncovers authenticity through insight meditation. [31:12]

Dr. Shefali breaks down the power of embracing the impermanent now. [34:39]

Tom and Dr. Shefali expose parenting myths and the difference between attachment and high love. [35:41]

Dr. Shefali walks through the importance of being conscious of our limitations. [39:12]

Dr. Shefali addresses the transcendence of life and how to engage and align with the moment. [43:43]

Dr. Shefali reveals why happiness is a misnomer and pursuing happiness is a trap. [47:17]

Dr. Shefali defines the impact that she wants to have on the world. [49:32]



The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting – [1:54]

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment – [44:08]



Eckhart Tolle – [44:00]







Please watch: “How to Make Yourself Immune to Pain | David Goggins on Impact Theory”



25 thoughts on “How to Become a Better Parent | Dr. Shefali on Impact Theory

  1. I wish l can do a workshop with you,l truly need it , l am missing the process of raising my 3 kids,coz l am held back by stress,fear, anger..oh boy..l need to buy the book

  2. I completely agree about the going to sleep when the child is refusing. This just happened with my son (by the time they are refusing and fussing and crying, it is past their sleep time, aka they would have fallen asleep earlier without a problem but we as parents were out with them longer than expected or something else delayed the natural time when they wanted to fall asleep. The crying is saying it is past the sleep time and now im really tired.) So the way i got him to sleep is brought him home (we were at a restaurant and had to leave cuz he was getting physical, too frustrated,) and it was not by force, not saying, you have to go to sleep NOW! I was quiet, not saying much, but beckoning with my arms for him to come to me for a hug. It took about 15 minutes to create a connection, he came close enough to lean on me, then he leaned on my back, and i had the idea of giving him a piggy back ride. That worked like a charm cuz it opened him with humor and lightheartedness. He stopped crying and felt easier, so i felt that he was ready to lay down next to me, and it took another like 5 mins for him to fall asleep on me. Its totally different than locking him in his room and saying go to bed in your own bed. It was a tough slow beautiful connected dance

  3. I don’t know if is because I grow up in a third world with strict parents but I’m trying to open my mind to new ideas but this concept sounds like too handoff and putting to much self control in a little brain without developing completely

  4. Awesome show again, Tom! Dr. Shefali is a light beacon, placed in our world to spread rays of higher vibrations. Our world is rising and this is visible from the amount of people who resonate with these new age ideas! It’s so exciting to observe! Thank you, Tom for your light as well!

  5. I love Dr. Shefali, I have all her books, and following her instructions made me a better parent, and a better human being. But one thing she says makes me bolt for the keyboard, pause the video and comment: Dr. Shefalli is WRONG, dead wrong suggesting that people should not have kids, or things long and hard for decades before they perfect themselves to have one. This way no one will ever have kids, because we can NEVER be perfect! Wasn't she the one who said that life is about pain and handling that pain in a conscious manner? I urge you to have kids, have as many as you can! Enjoy watching them grow, watch their beauty because they represent the beauty of life! And definitely follow what Dr. Shefalli says about raising them. But go ahead a have kids, and bring life to this world!

  6. Brilliant!
    I also love and appreciate that she brought up the Buddhist practice of vipassana meditation and impermanence. The hardest lesson I learned (and am still learning) about myself was to be present & that life in-and-of itself is impermanent so why am I holding on to any kind of personal emotional harmful nonsense, as well learning to quiet down the mind-jungle noises, which I recently learned at a silent vipassana meditation retreat. A beautiful practice.
    So many fabulous take-aways in this Impact Theory video with Dr. Tsabary!!

  7. If you dont meditate, you might not get her.
    These are incredibly painful truths.
    There is only you. You are a guide to a child. You are a partner to another, there is really only you in your wholeness. Your perspective. Your history, ideas, beliefs. You are completely unique, understanding this allows you to honour other beings (your child/husband/wifes) uniqueness and let go of control. Letting go of control is like holding a delicate flower in your hand, its petals are not being crushed by your desires and views. When you accept this there is great healing.

  8. She's right most of us do have children out of our dream plan its really about our life plan not them. Not that they are their own ppl or when u discover that ur taken back and realize u need to recreate ur game plan.its hard to ignore a life time of what was beat in to you to truly live by ur own rules

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