Best Ways How To Stay Classy In An Argument

In today’s video I talk about how to handle arguments with poise and grace! We can all agree that staying elegant during arguments is extremely important as opposed to causing scenes in public or even just exploding.

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47 thoughts on “Best Ways How To Stay Classy In An Argument

  1. Thank you for watching! What is your strategy to handle arguments? Also, if you’re interested in learning more about this topic, make sure you watch my related video How To Deal With Rudeness In An Elegant Way:

  2. Hello Anna – This wine coloured top you are wearing today really suits you in sophisticated mode. I also like your hair drawn back, just for a change. Is it a messy bun or a ballet bun ? I tell young girls I come across to look at your channel and to think about your advice and your tips thereby gaining confidence without being aggressive or loud. I also suggest it to their mothers to encourage their daughters to be better versions of themselves. I wish I had done more of this when I was teaching young girls ballet.
    Thank you and have a good week,

  3. Such good advice Anna. I think we are all naturally programmed to respond to attack with more attack. And especially if it's in front of others, you kind of feel you should stand your ground and defend yourself. But by not responding and looking like you are really not effected is truly the best defence. And it does make the other person look really stupid in the end. I find look away, do not make eye contact with the person and count to 10……and change the subject. Hard at first but makes you look like the confident, well mannered and intelligent one.x 😊

  4. Dear Anna, I fight with my husband because he is fine not touching, cuddling, hugging kissing goodbye, not making eye contact when we speak, always on his phone, too busy working or online gaming with friends, doesn't like to be touched or kissed or spoken to, unless it interests him… if the topic doesn't interest him, he will be very impolite and ask me "how does that concern me" or "I don't care, I don't have time to listen to bullshit" so we hardly ever talk about my likes and interests.. I can hear in the way that he talks to me, that there is no softness or care, he demands what he expects of me to do around the house and thats it, he never smiles but when we're out with family and friends he listens, cares, smiles and is super friendly towards them. He criticises everything that I do, he makes me regret anything that I do for him because he complaints about everything and nitpick what I am doing/have done/have bought or just pick at whatever is not done. He doesn't celebrate our special days even though there's a huge fight about it every time, he doesn't do gifts either, no effort even if I remind him for a month before the actual day. My tears or unhappines doesn't phase him at all and he doesn'ttry to solve my unhappiness. All that he cares about is money or our financial success. I'm an extrovert, my love language is touch and words of affirmation, my energy revolves around him and pleasing him, he's introverted, he's love language is acts of service and we pretty much have very little conversation topics in common, I gave up trying to please him because it's never good enough and he'll skip to complaining about whatever else I have not done . All that he does the whole day is pick at my faults, no compliments, no thank you and constant demands of what I must do, other than that I do not exist. The worst part is that he doesn't even try to act on our relationship issues, he just ignores it, leaving me filled with resentment. He cannot seem to let go of other women, the first time he crushed me and my trust was 5 years ago when we were together for only 2 months and there has always been some woman somewhere in the form of flirting somewhere whether it is in real life or online, in front of me or behind my back… he's disappointed me so bad that I went through a phase of chatting to other men to feel better about what he did which is unlike me.We have sex maybe once a month because he's not interested, I do compliment and thank him for things, I put in effort, I buy him gifts, I really listen to him, I make and spend time with him, but he's reply to these are extremely vain and he doesnt return the compliment or says thank you. I am officially drained by him not doing anything towards the relationship in the way that I need it, or receiving anything like words or effort back. I can't fix out relationship by talking or fighting about it because he doesn't acknowledge my concerns or try to find a solution and he puts no effort into attending to what actually is upsetting me. What can I do to make it work?

  5. Well! And here I was, all ready to be concerned that you would be advising women to dampen emotion to please a man? And then you went and dealt with emotions using well established self soothing techniques that enhance well being! Good job! 😀

  6. I rarely comment, but in this instance, I think that I have something important to add. There is a book that I think is very helpful on this topic called "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" by Suzette Haden Elgin. I read it more than 10 years ago and I still refer back to it constantly. It talks about the key things that start an argument as well as how to recognize and respond appropriately. According to her, sometimes the best way to handle an argument is not to answer back at all and just walk away.

  7. That retreat sounds like heaven. I feel so distracted, so overwhelmed, so anxious and annoyed by all the noise around me. That makes it difficult to stay calm sometimes. I crave and especially fear silence, so that would be a challenge in a good way.

  8. Anna, Please do a video on how to hand-write a note and send it through the mail. Apology notes especially. I have often turned lemons into lemonade by doing this. I buy my notes in thrift stores. Thank-you, sympathy, and get-well letters. Also, please tell all our ladies to STOP WRITING THANK-YOU NOTES AS EMAILS. This is just plain rude! If you can't muster the energy to hand write and thank-you note, you shouldn't accept the gift.

  9. My ex support worker was just like you and I miss her so much.
    She went through court with me and meetings with all sorts and she taught me so much.
    I ended up saying "everyone needs a Bea" (her name) and I think people do now in the form of you School of Affluence 💕

  10. Anna, something’s changed… You look absolutely gorgeous. I love your hair in a bun, the earrings and lipstick flatter your beautiful face. Do keep it up! 🌷Another great video!

  11. I practise most of these things and I can just agree: It has changed me a lot. Within 3 years I developed from an aggressive and loud, little girl to a mindful and elegant teen. From my point of view the meditation is key to really start focussing on inner peace. It makes you stronger from the inside, so you don't have the need to pretend you are powerful through shouting etc..

  12. A women knows the value of her voice💖 i think many people had to hear this.

    I always stay calm and friendly and never take it personally. I only can change if people say things in a positive way if i agree to it, And not in a nasty way!.

  13. Cudos for being an even more interesting and awesome person with these tips, you are a true role model! I went to my first Vipassana last year and it helped a lot for my mood and personality and mindset. I'd never thought that you'd go to one since it was in a (I Thailand) very "unclassy" eniviroment with big spiders, geckos and snakes in the room made of stone with a stone bed, and cold bucket-showers haha, but makes me admire you even more (even if maybe the one you went to was cleaner) it shows a lot of character and strength!

  14. Above everything: angry feelings get stuk into your system and you need to get rid of them by… TAPPING!!!! Watch Tapping on you tube which is: Emotional Freedom techniques. It is really the most healthy way to deal with angryness. Go to the bathroom and do your Tapping!

  15. Men respond more to a woman’s tears than her anger. lol Crying is more feminine than screaming and shouting. Just don’t abuse it and cry all the time to get your way. Remain calm and collected in most of your arguments. If you’re angry, best to walk away if possible.

  16. With taking a deep breath, or better : to exhale 5 -6 sec. Eliminates negative emotions, results: more energy. Like recent Harvard research shows its like buying time. If we don’t have energy but a lot of time, the time feels useless…

  17. When I was in school we had a lady principal who always used to talk about being classy, she also appointed a teacher to take grooming sessions for us. But our principal always used to shout at students, pull their hair if it wasn't oiled, hit students, give them severe punishments literally for anything that was as small as forgetting to put on ribbons or forgetting to put on blazer. She was old but that didn't justify her actions she was so aggressive and at the same time talking about class.

  18. Thanks Anna for voicing your thoughts about mindfulness and therapy. As a therapist who's had her fair share of difficulties I couldn't agree with you more.
    We react when old emotions are triggered so working through them in therapy will deactivate the triggers and make us naturally more resilient. Then mindfulness is the tool to deal with whatever new emotions arise (which however will be less intense in nature).

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